Let me just apologize now about my topic of this blog. I know you were probably thinking that my first on the trail blog was going to be about my crazy day one. Well, I will tell you about that in another blog. So, without further ado, let’s jump right in by me sayin, yipPEE ki yay! Urine for the long haul.

Last year, on the Appalachian Trail at the Grayson Highlands State Park, in Virginia, Tom, Spirit and myself stayed at the Thomas Knob shelter.

The wild ponies were hanging out and the three of us managed to all get licked by the ponies. Mine was more like a bath, but no sense in bragging.

Around supper time, a man from the Far East arrived with a backpack that weighed more than him. No joke. He only said a few words in English which led to a quiet evening from him. He slept in the shelter on the opposite side from us. In the morning while we were eating breakfast, he got up, took five steps from the shelter and emptied a full Nalgene bottle of pee. We were shocked to say the least.

He hadn’t left the shelter since the day before and we all slept in there together. Hmm.

In 2016, once again Spirit and I were going to sleep in a shelter. A man came in towards hiker midnight (7 pm), he didn’t smell very good. I ended up next to him. Whenever he rolled over, I caught a whiff of him. I tell you no lie, this guy smelled like cat piss.

Let’s fast forward to three nights ago. My knee acted up the first day. Multiple reasons why. I won’t list them. At 6:30 pm it was lights out. I’m snug as a bug in my tent. It drizzled off and on. I fell right to sleep to the sounds of chirping frogs. I woke up and I think, “Boy do I feel rested. It must almost be 6:30 am.” I lay there for half an hour. I’m near Hauser Creek and I think, any minute the sun will be up. Time ticks by, no daylight in sight and so I finally turn on my phone. 2:30 am! Are you kidding me, I’m ready to start my day. Ugh!!! I feel the urge to pee. I think, “Bad knee and what were all those rustling noises around my tent. Snakes no doubt!” So…I found the largest Zip-lock bag I could find, kneeled on one knee while trying to keep the sore knee straight. All was going well until I felt wet warmth running down my kneeled leg. “Oh Crap! Turn off the water works!!!” Brother, right now I dislike all the women on Facebook who suggested this very stupid idea. Just get the hell out of your tent. Snakes be damned.

Now I had wet long underwear and wet sleeping bag. It’s a good thing I had moved all my electronics. I wiped everything down with toilet paper and baby wipes. Took off my long underwear and curled up in my sleeping bag. “Is that urine I smell?”

“I gotta pee.” – Forrest Gump